When a cardboard box made me cry…
"Tap tap tap". A gentle knocking on my door this morning - so quiet I almost missed it - surprised me. It's not often people find their way up to my flat, let alone call on me out of the blue!
I open the door to an almost-apologetic Meg - my lovely 70-something neighbour. I can tell she's worried about disturbing me and sure enough, she begins with "I'm sorry to bother you Jen". (Cue first little inward tear: when did we get so worried about calling on our neighbours?).
"I wondered if these boxes were any use to you?"
She presents me with two small cardboard boxes. I well up a little more. She brought me cardboard!
[For those of you who don't know, I'm currently working on a new venture; a big (for me) no-dig growing project, based on local-to-me Horwood Farm who are looking to diversify and create opportunities for micro enterprises, local community and wellbeing, alongside working with and for nature. They've offered me the incredible opportunity to head up the creation and management of "The Farm Garden" - a 0.3 acre commercial growing space on the farm which will weave in opportunities for wellbeing events, volunteer days, working retreats and knowledge sharing, as well as the selling of hearty and healthy veg to the local community. Exciting times! Creating a no-dig garden of this size though, (over 10 times the size of my existing allotment) will take a HUGE amount of cardboard.]
Because of this need for inordinate amounts of cardboard, I've been asking everyone I know - including residents of our street - for any cardboard they might otherwise be getting rid of, and I've been so touched by the response! So many people have been offering me their cardboard!
It's not about the cardboard itself (although I have to say, who knew a lass could get SO excited by cardboard boxes...I reckon I'm vying for top spot in the cardboard-appreciation league along with the farm owner's dog Max, who up until now was a very serious contender for the position of chief-cardboard-fancier!). It's about way more than that. It's about how a simple request for help can have so many ripple effects.
I've spoken to more of my neighbours in the last few months than I have in the 6 years I've been here. Every exchange of cardboard boxes comes with a conversation. An exchange of news. A sharing of dreams and visions. A check-in on wellbeing. A little dose of connection and meaningful human interaction and support that otherwise wouldn't have happened. In today's busy, fast-paced world, it's so easy for many of us to shrug off those small interactions at best as minor diversions, at worst, minor distractions or inconveniences.
For the lovely Meg, who lost her husband recently, that interaction might well have made her day! And, when I allowed myself to really be with her for those couple of minutes she was at my door (I'm now wishing I'd thought to invite her in for a cup of tea, even though I was still in my dressing gown), it made mine too.
Who knows why so many people - friends, neighbours and even friends of friends - have rallied behind my quest for cardboard. Maybe it's the sharing in my simple yet overflowing joy (a quality that has been pointed out to me several times this week). Perhaps it's a just-below-the-level-of-consciousness desire to see a "waste" product be reused for good. (Did you know that the cardboard laid on the grass and covered with soil and manure breaks down and returns carbon to the earth?) Or is it that people are craving connection and community and a sense of purpose and meaning? In a world where we are so cut off and individualistic, so hyper-independent and self-reliant, a part of our souls crave the sense of the "village" that is in our very DNA. A sense of being helpful. Inter-connected. Needed.
The fact that my little quest for cardboard is somehow feeding that need…that is what makes me cry!
So here's an invitation for you. An invitation to create your own ripples of joy and connection: Where can you ask for, or offer, a small gesture of support this week? (And notice, I'm not only suggesting offering support, but asking for it - an action that will probably feel even harder!)
Perhaps you could:
🌿 Ask a neighbour if you could borrow some sugar, milk or eggs (it's pancake day today, after all!)
🌿 Offer to do a tip run for some neighbours, when you're going anyway.
🌿 Check in with a friend you haven't spoken to for a while and suggest a phone call or cuppa or walk.
🌿 Invite donations of over-ripe bananas to make some banana bread (even if they live in your freezer for a while), then share a slice or two of said banana bread as a thank you.
🌿 Offer to run an errand when you're heading in a particular direction. (You probably won't get any takers at first....people are so reluctant to accept help or put anyone else out, but reciprocal support has to start somewhere!).
🌿 Borrow a neighbour's step ladder, strimmer, cafetiere, hoover, power drill, ice blocks*, cool box*, measuring tape, wheelbarrow.....
*yes, I need to defrost my freezer and writing this has just given me this brainwave for my own benefit!!
What else can you think of?
Notice if you feel a bit "ick" about asking for help, and reframe it for yourself. How would you feel if someone asked you for help? Isn't there a little part of you that delights in being needed? In being able to help in some small way? In being useful? In being part of a community, part of a village? Imagine being that for someone else. Imagine what our - your - world would look like if we all looked out for each other just a little more in this way!
It's a world I dream of. In the face of maddening and worrying global politics and division and fear....it's small acts of defiance and community-building like this that keep me sane, and WILL change the world for the better.
What small community-building invitations or requests could you make this week? I'd love to hear what you do! Hit reply and let me know 😍
And if you'd like a taste of village-building, connection and community, all whilst hanging out in beautiful nature around a fire for the day - as women have done for millennia! - check out my upcoming one day retreats. They are a gorgeous opportunity to relax, reconnect, and remember what it is to be wild - in all senses.
More info on those, and other retreats, over here: Wild Retreats
In the meantime, as always, stay warm, stay wild!
Jen xx